this blog entry is not a temporary autonmous zone

September 4th, 2007

Oh man, so I did something kinda crazy today. I had this generally awesome morning but then when I got to downtown portland (where my work is) I suddenly felt this overwhelming feeling of despair/desperation and I decided it was because of the whole immanent USA-Iran War news (http://www.libertypost.org/cgi-bin/readart.cgi?ArtNum=198975) so I strolled into a little crowd of people sitting around and just sort of asked

“Can I have everyones attention please? By a show of hands, who here serves a higher power?”

and i got a couple weird looks and one guy raised his hand and said “yeah.” and then I was like “What about a lower power, like dark satanic forces?” I wasn’t totally sure where I was going with this, but the one guy seemed into it and was like “Well, sometimes I do..” and then I sort of segued into talking about the massive air strikes that the
US military was probably about to carry out on Iran, and the guy got kinda angry and told me “There’s nothing you can do, Republicans own the world” and “George Bush is so much bigger than you!” and I told him “Bush is an empty shell!”and yeah anyway, it was just kinda crazy because I’m not usually very confrontative or comfortable talking to crowds of people but the idea just sprung into my head this afternoon so I went with it.

I think I was inpired to do this after reading some essays on this website called the “Journal of Aesthetics and Protest” which is at http://www.joaap.org/

Really great stuff. What I’ve read touches on the situationist critique of “the spectacle” and also talks about hakim bey and his “temporary autonomous zone” stuff.

I’m once again waffling on whether I’m going to go to school or not. I supposed there’s no reason not to at least try it out for a term, but the most potent argument for going to college involves the piece of paper and class privileges I would acquire if I stuck it out for 6 or 8 years or whatever.

I’m not sure if I will be able bear to spending so much time satisfying the requirements of my academic superiors if I see more important work that I can do in the meantime.

We’ll see I guess.

Good news for people who love the ceaseless emergence of good and bad out of nothingness

December 5th, 2006

Over this weekend, I became enlightened! It’s great.

Thanks Cosmos!

Special thanks to everyone I know.

SnackLife Solutions

July 23rd, 2006

(humor)

Recording: In a moment your call will be redirected to one of our Morsel Counselors. Your call may be recorded to ensure quality and freshness.

MC: Hi, this is Mary, is this your first time with SnackLife solutions?

Caller: Actually no, I talked to Julie a couple weeks ago about changing my diet to um, help with my sleeplessness.

MC: Do you have a SnackLife ID number?

Caller: Yeah… 5, 6, 7, 9, 9, 1, 4, 3.

MC: Alright, let me bring up your info…

Caller: Okay.

MC: You’ve been having disturbing dreams, Brian?

Caller: Yeah.

MC: Maybe you could describe some to me.

Caller: Yeah.. alright. Last night I had this dream where my old boss was like, stuck in this wall.. like he had moved part way through it. Then my father… who died when .. I think I was almost twelve, he appears with the head of a goat.. I mean, it didn’t look like him, but I could tell, you know, it was him? He used to drink a lot and well so, in the dream he’s like, spouting all this fluid out of his mouth that smelled weird… Then like, the ground opens up into this flaming chasm and all these babies crawl.. they don’t have eyes.. my God.. it’s horrible.

MC: It’s okay sir, you don’t have to go on, I think I’ve already got enough -

Caller: and then, I start attacking them, the babies, like they’re going to attack me… but they aren’t, they’re just lying there. I feel like I’ve had that dream hundreds of times…

MC: Mhmm.. hmm. Yes. Have you been eating a lot of starchy foods Brian?

Caller: Yeah.. I guess so.

MC: You should definitely cut down on those, especially first thing in the morning or before something you are having lots of stress about.

Caller: Oh.. okay…

MC: Is there anything else I can I help you with today Brian.

Caller: No.. I guess I just wanted to talk to someone.

MC: Mhmm. Well thank you so much for talking to us! We hope you give us a call whenever you feel the need so that our expertly trained Counselors can help you on this journey to self actualization through better snacking.

Caller:… Yeah.

MC: Good bye.

Help!?

July 18th, 2006

I’m sitting here, with emotions rippling across my grey matter very chaotically. It is somewhat unpleasant and unsettling. I think I may have Cyclothymic Personality Disorder. For weeks I have felt less anxious and more relaxed around other people, especially my coworkers at my job working in the kitchen at a sushi place. This trend peaked in an extreme case of euphoria that lasted a couple days before petering out some (started on the 13th while I was at work). Though I was in a less manic more normal mood last night, it was this morning that I started to feel anxious and worried around people (who I had felt comfortable being with the previous night). Nothing too dramatic, but certainly an extreme change from how I felt before. (I’m not sure, but smoking may assist in triggering depressive episodes for me, the effects of which last days if not longer. Each time though (not that often) I hope it will be more positive like when I first started smoking. Why are things less funny? Seems atypical) So yeah, sitting here writing I can vividly recall feelings of confidence and enthusiasm that pervaded the last several days, but I predict that once I go outside or start talking to someone I will feel uneasy or anxious (or simply uninterested) again. I hate the idea of taking big pharma medication, I want this to be something that can be effected/improved through purely psychological methods (or at least self medication through more natural methods). I have to get ready for a friend’s birthday thing tonight to go bar hopping (oh yeah, I turned 21 on the tenth if you didn’t know!).

Get behind me Stalin!

May 30th, 2006

Yeah so, some time ago Gabe introduced me to Stangoff.com and I quickly became a goff junky. His lucid writing style and radical leftist analysis were providing decisive answers to such political questions as “Why do the Democrats suck?” and “Don’t we have an obligation to stay in Iraq after invading it?” Also, I was then becoming more interested in Feminism and through Goff’s blog I was given a tour of the front-lines of Feminist theory and the many contradictory positions struggling to define “true” feminism. This compelling combination had hooked me and I was slowly but surely being drawn into the ideological orbit of Stan Goff, the Feral Scholar.

Recent developments in Latin America and the rising “anti-neoliberal” sentiment around the world fed a sense of optimism about the (hopefully) inevitable revolution of the oppressed classes that would help create new avenues of democracy in an increasingly unstable global political environment; Stan Goff being the perfect person to polish off this optimism and back it up with military analysis of insurgency and post-marxist class observations. But not all was well in Elliott Land.

In the last several months I had become dully aware that I was neglecting some inward, “spiritual” aspects of myself, and that this might lead to some sad psychological experiences down the road if further ignored. While staying with my friend Josh in Hawaii I made a mental note to talk to my parents about maybe becoming involved in Subud after returning home. Other/additional options for religio-spiritualistic experiences I’ve entertained have been to attend one of the many churches in my local neighborhood, simply meditating, or when I was next in Eugene to have Asa, a resident Chaos Magician and Subgenius perform some cool magick ritual or something (for more about the Church of the Subgenius and Chaos Magick see: the Internet!)

My stay in Hawaii was enjoyable but also very dramatic because my friend’s family situation was destabilizing both monetarily and emotionally. I feel that my presence was not entirely obstructive, and that I maybe even helped mediate some of the frustrated emotions flying about, and that was/is a pretty good feeling. Also I became incredibly grateful of my own parents’ patience and understanding nature and, combining that with the feminist analysis of women’s labor being seen as a “free good” in society have realized a greater respect for my mom and all she has done for me. So my stay on Kauai had indeed effected me on a “deep” level, but it now seems clear some major demonic agents were yet to be exorcized.

Finally back in Portland I was ecstatic, literally high on life. For a period of at least five days I was brimming with happiness almost every waking moment. A couple causes for this occurred to me: I was very happy to be back in Portland, I had stopped smoking pot (which happened a lot on Kauaii even though I no longer find it a largely positive experience) and it leaving my system was causing an dramatic upswing in attitude AND thirdly, the Revolution was imminent. You see, during this period I purchased and eagerly read through Stan Goff’s “Full Spectrum Disorder”. In it Goff outlines the precarious grip global capitalism and its state actors have on growing movements for greater autonomy world wide. The Rumsfeld doctrine, summed up largely as: “If we have fancier weapons, flying drone bots and GPS coordinated tank movements, we will win any and all military engagements,” is exposed as largely being megalomaniacal fantasy that has already shown itself to to be ill suited to the jobs it is trying to get done. Further more, he details the near impossibility of defeating an urban based insurgency made up of locals with a foreign military force. Global implications: The US military, which backs up the worth of the USD, which is the linchpin of global capitalism, falters in its ambitions, and therefore global capitalism itself is shown to be unstable. Western civilization as we know it will soon fall apart!

I was ecstatic about this too.

Goff recommends, hypothetically, that members of “Overdeveloped Country A” learn themselves in reconnaissance skills and firearm maintenance.

“Cool!” I thought, in my fevered optimism. “We’ll have to till the soil and defend it with our very lives. Neat!” I thought of how exciting it would be, forging new self sustaining communities in the Pacific Northwest, independent of the omnipresent influence of capitulating political paradigms and corporate money incentives. I of course anticipated it would be a difficult, exhausting and possibly fatal process. But I was seeing the silver lining like the gleaming corona of a full eclipse. After all, we have no choice! “Socialism or barbarism… or fascism.” If the most alarmist claims were right, if peak oil was fo realz, and global capitalism would soon falter like an Imperial AT-AT tangled in tow cable, then I wanted to be prepared dammit! I mean, maybe it would turn out to all be deranged ranting… (and global warming a hoax created by Russian Weather Controlling machines!) BUT if it wasn’t, the price of not preparing seemed far too high.

Then my period of joyfulness fizzled out… but I still had my Goff, my friends, and a future of increasingly limited possibilities to deal with. I spread the word, and talked excitedly about our precarious future with friends, it was a future we would build! I had resolved that I would “stay and fight”, that I wouldn’t run off to Europe or Canada or some other safer seeming land unless everyone else I knew abandoned Portland first. It seemed a perfect place to transition into a better society: arable land, liberal consciousness and I grew up there! My mood swung radically from week to week, day to day as I tried to evaluate what it was really that I should do about all this.

Then I read Stan Goff’s defense of Stalinism. At this point, I was more confident of his analysis of Stalinism than I was of his anti-pornography stance. After all, his argument was qualified by the assertion that Stalin’s regime hadn’t actually murdered 30 million people, that the figure was a gross inflation by Capitalist partisans eager to show that “Socialism was worth than Nazism”. Silent screams of protest reverberated within my skull. Stan goff insisted that if Russia had not rapidly industrialized, it would have been “Africanized,” stripped of resources and intentionally kept undeveloped by the western powers. I also reasoned that at the very least WWII may have lasted years longer if there had been no USSR to keep the Nazis from flowing into Asia (roughly 25 million russians died in WWII). I was not convinced, but terrifyingly, I WANTED to believe. I desperately searched the internet for more commentary along this line. It is not so much Goff’s “defense” of Stalinism that I in retrospect find disturbing, but my reaction. Eagerness to accept that such deliberate terror and systematic violence was not just “rational” but somehow “necessary” in the “big scheme of things.” It was statements such as this that were both compelling and provoking of cognitive dissonance:

“Proper evaluation of the Soviet experiment, however, requires that it be set into the broad context of the twentieth century, a century of unprecedented bloodshed. Such an evaluation reveals that far from being the monsters they are often portrayed as, Soviet leaders such as Vladimir Lenin and Josef Stalin followed the only practical course of action to ensure the survival of their country.”

That is, the survival of this abstract entity. I mean sure, also to avoid “Africanization,” no one wants to be Africa. But the arrogance and callousness of Empire lurked behind this reasoning. The USSR it seems to me, was not “Socialism on one country,” but Imperialism in fast-forward, an industrial colonialism that swept across the continent using capitalist modes of production and Imperial means of persuasion. After reading a particularly poignant, almost romantic exposition on Stalin’s terror I was unable to even tell for sure whether the essay had been a defense of Stalinism rather than a subtle and poetic condemnation. I was sorta losing it at that point. I decided to go to bed and sort it all out at some later point.

And so it came to pass, I was disenchanted pretty harshly with Mr. Goff. I would only fully realize how I had been relying on Goff’s writing as a means of ideologically grounding my politics (and therefore heavily effecting my sense of self as well as right & wrong) after a visit to Powells City of Books. What did I have to fall back on, politically that is, after this ideological meltdown? Feminism. I found a book titled “The Demon Lover, on the Sexuality of Terrorism”.

It immediately touched on a theme that I remembered having wanted to explore before, after I had seen a disturbing hip hop music video produced by wannabe Islamic Terrorists. “They’re just like us, in the worst possible way” I had thought. In “The Demon Lover” Robin Morgan talks about the masculine archetype of the warrior-hero/martyr, and it’s prevalence in every major civilization for thousands of years. The masked vigilante in fiction: Zorro, the Lone Ranger, many super-heroes such as Batman, who “strikes terror into the hearts of criminals everywhere.” In reality: The Zapatistas, Jihadists, the KKK, black clad Anarchists, all imitations in the vein of this archetype, even if they are trying to manifest different goals. She compares “male methods of struggle” with women led resistance (usually non-violent) throughout history, and how the latter has usually made real progress on behalf of the most oppressed (women, children and racial minorities). She observes that terrorism is a tactic used both by stateless revolutionary groups and standing governments, and that when the rebels actually succeed in a coup, their regime most often merely assumes its place in the seamless continium of state violence and oppression. She describes the narrative invoked by macho revolutionaries as the actions of the “rebel son against the tyrant father,” a narrative in which women do not even exist.

She also describes how women are often drawn to these demon lover personas, and talks about her own experience in radical revolutionary groups in the sixties before becoming a feminist. These groups often enforced “non-monogamy,” as a post-modern excuse to pressure women into having sex with all the men within the group. Along with this sexism was the intoxication with becoming the violent martyr, delighting in the destruction of your enemies, even in your own obliteration, as long as it is for the cause. She calls this the politics of Thanatos, the alternative being the politics of Eros (in which Life, rather than Death is embraced). Although I think these terms and other aspects of her analysis are somewhat simplistic, her main point was driven home for me and made me realize how gratuitously I had drifted into militant fantasies in my pursuit of political rightness.

This realization effected my entire mood, making me see how I had been only narrowly enjoying life for much of the past several months. Looking back, It seems likes I was practically lusting for Armageddon, because it seemed to me destruction had to precede change. A dangerous, perhaps arbitrary association that had secreted away any real sense of hope and optimism into a sort of frozen state, waiting to be thawed by the rising sun of some glorious cultural revolution. I mused that in the ecstatic period following my return to Portland I spent much of my time reading Goff’s book which seemed to imply just this, and that perhaps my positive emotions and optimism had been illogically associated with the book’s outlook. To me it seemed a perfect analogy for the mechanisms of organized religion, and their notorious use of The Book, in which real feelings of awe and spiritual re-birth are harnessed by cynical bigots into political movements to demonize sexual minorities and get fascist warmongers into high office.

In the book she also talks about her time meeting with women in refugee camps in the middle east whom she is told “have no interest in feminism,” a claim to which she poses contrary evidence. I definitely suggest the book, a new edition has been published for our post 9/11 word entitled “The Demon Lover: The Roots of Terror” with some added materiel.

It helped me remember that a truly “revolutionary” (now I am uncertain whether I favor the term anymore to describe the sort of change that I wish for in the future) outlook is not characterized by adherence to stated principals, but a continuos revelatory process. By an ongoing effort to greater understand our world we can extend our vigilance and compassion into each succeeding moment, because anything else is settling for less.

Life/Death Machine.

December 18th, 2005

Here’s a sort of confused philisophical question that doesn’t quite get to it’s point, but maybe you can make out what I’m trying to get at anyway. If you can answer the question succesfully the award is utopia!

The LIFE MACHINE/DEATH MACHINE Question:

(this is not meant to address the philisophical question of causality vs freewill, which may seemingly be evoked by use of the metaphor of society as a machine. Please ignore this contradiction and dismiss it as a false dichotomy, for the purposes of this question at least.)

There are two types of machines. One type is the Life machine and the other is the Death machine. They are in fact very similar, some argue that they were based off the same basic design. Some say the design was stolen from God, others from nature, and others still claim it was a fundamentally new type of thing when first contrived. Both machines destroy and create life. The generally accepted explanation is that it is necessary for the destruction of some life for the creation of other life (as it works in the natural world). These machines are not composed of inanimate objects only though, but also life itself and most importantly the inventors of the machines, humans. Humans have in fact engineered themselves to become more or less dependable parts of these machines. But what distinguishes these two types of machines from eachother is the relative net results of their functions. The Life machine creates quantitatively more life and a qualitatively better life. The Death machine destroys quantitatively more life and is qualitatively worse both in its methods of destruction and the life it creates. The dilemma is that people argue about which are the death machines and which the life machines. It is generally believed that both types are used in the world, sometimes right alongside eachother, further confusing the matter of figuring which is which. Some claim that the Death and Life machines are merely symbiotic halves of one monster machine and that we are all fooling ourselves thinking we can get one part to work without the other. Those people are usually very unpopular. Others say that there is no difference between the death and life machines and that quantity of life is arbitrary and quality is subjective. To answer this we must point out that if a large quantity of people subjectively view their lives as qualitatively poor than it does matter in a measurable way. One could argue that the “real” difference between the two machine types is that the Life machine convinces people that their life is qualitatively better, whereas the death machines makes people feel miserable. But since the nature of each individuals happiness is subjective designing a machine that manufactures infinite identical happy lives may not be the best Life machine even if it is feasible. The answer that “The Enlightenment” gave to this question is that it should be the function of the Life machine to enable people as much freedom as possible so that as many people as possible can pursue their own subjective happiness. Many see the individual as the Life machine to itself because it has the least motivation to restrict it’s own happiness. There is validity to this viewpoint, however; human beings exist in social networks and often derive happiness from their relations with others. Various methods of human interaction can be seen as different designs for the Life and Death machines. Here we try to see it not as Capitalism vs. Communism, Individualism vs. Collectivism, Self-interest vs. Altruism or any other false dichotomy because we are addressing society as a collection of individuals, and the social relations which lead to the most people being the most happy. People may feel happy not caring about others, or they may feel happy to see themselves as entirely altruistic. But are these people necessarily in conflict? Is the happiness of one fundamentally opposed to the happiness of another, or do their desires only antagonize eachother as poorly crafted parts of the Death machine? Might in fact these very same individuals, these same exact cogs, run harmoniously together in the perfect Life machine?

Sober after edit: Man that was ridiculous. Like, even stranger than I thought it was when I posted it. For compesnation for it, check out the blog superlefty.com, which I’ve recently come across and I find pretty funny.
-elliott

Gushers Fruitsnacks strike a blow for Dystopia!

December 3rd, 2005

The children of today are being trained to, if not enjoy, at least expect the atomized and isolating urban consumer dystopias of the future! Lest you think I speak in jest, go to www.gushers.com and reserve your own cubicle room in the virtual-reality urban housing complex of fruitsnack inspired tommorowland! Complete with Genetically Modified Fruit Hominids (GMFHs) forced into salaried jobs as sub-human store clerks. Once you reserve your room on the 47,000th floor you can fill your “living space” with an unlimited supply of cheap consumer goods that you can arrange however you want! Fun! If the feeling of virtually owning your own home filled with virtual products that leave you virtually unfulfilled is something you thought you had to buy The Sims to enjoy, no more!

The most realistic part of the simulation is that you can’t knock on the door of your neighbor to see who lives next to you because you need to know their name and/or be invited to visit other people’s rooms. In reality it is the generally unacknowledged yet virulently indoctrinated fear of human contact which keeps us from talking to our neighbors and forming real communities that could collectively struggle for liberation from our corporate overlords, but the overall effect is the same.

In a strange coincidence I also today became aware of a proposed Japanese urban living space called “Sky City 1000″. You can check that out here. The news story that mentioned it was explaining that an existing skyscraper in Taiwan called Taipei 101 may have due to it’s extreme weight reopened an ancient geological faultline and caused two recent earthquakes. This may, unfortunately, stall plans to build the urban consumer dystopias of the future, but I’m sure we* will manage somehow.

Back to the online dystopia training program; is it really something to fear? Are children all across the nation being programmed to expect and tolerate a consumerist cityscape even more grueling and inhumane than the current one? Would buying a kid a Mcdonalds drivethru playset for christmas complete with plastic hamburger patties really make his/her future minimum wage employment flipping burgers any more inevitable and inescapable? Or do these seemingly innocent dollhouses of nightmarish futures actually inform developing intellects of the future that is planned for them allowing them to come to revolutionary self realization even quicker? If you haven’t visited the gushers website yet please do so as the whole thing borders on surrealist socio-political satire right down to the hispanic dude in the lobby. I really couldn’t have made a freakier interactive flash thing if I had well.. tried to do so. Though I am working on something of the sort right now…. which I will post something about once it is closer to completion.

*Walmart

Macrocosmic dread

March 22nd, 2005

So….it is coming to this. The agnostic side of me is saying who cares if Wolfowitz is gonna be the word bank president? The WTO hardly needs help pushing ahead it’s agenda of thirdworld liquidation, its overall policy which is crafted by the its constituent members is what matters, not some token appointment.

But then the Occult side of me is reaping cosmic terror at the idea of this free market fundementalist being at the head the World Bank. Now the World Bank can officially walk in step with each new American war, lending the US government (taxpayers) more and more money we will never be able to pay back…

Some people are prophesying the destabilisation of the worldbank/WTO because of such blatant power grabs. Would that be a good thing for those opposing the policies of the WTO, or does it not really matter? Wouldn’t the interests behind that organization simply regroup under new facades?

So I try and bring theses concerns to Gabe, but he “hasn’t been following the news” and then starts babbling about the american dream, bubble tea and mexican landscapers. I don’t know what to make of this so I call him a libertarian (he may have missed this).

I am reading a Robert Anton Wilson book right now and it is quite enjoyable and is a good escape from the macrocosmic terror of the daily news.

Oh, and on the front of microcosmic terror:

Did you hear about that school shooting on the reservation? Some kid who was like, a Native-american nazi or something fucked up like that. Any way, he made this violent flash cartoon which you can view here.

Pretty well done actually, but it would be premature to make much of it….probably. There are so many amateur flash cartoons on the web, so many of them violent. Most of those people don’t go shoot people. Makes you wonder if the FBI is now doing psychological profiles of every amateur flash artist they can ID.

Wow, that sure ended on a downer, oh well.